Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
