I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
