I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
