Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"