Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
