i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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