So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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