i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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