Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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