Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
