You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
