I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
