lets start a swedish sibling band together
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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