Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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