Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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