help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
