I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
