I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Alive.
So much puke
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
