I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
