I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They have beer where we have blood.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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