I want to stick my p in your. b.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
