Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
