U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
BRING THE BAGELS
Drunk is not a location!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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