she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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