This girl is more easily done than said...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities