ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?