Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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