i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
