Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
