Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Who died my cat blue again?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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