I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
