so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize