So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize