he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
