That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
