I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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