the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
