11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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