So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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