So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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