Im at strip club and am horny
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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