fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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