my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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