I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
