I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
