are you still at the devil's house?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
