The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize