just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
