Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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