YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
