Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
