I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
