he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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