first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
God, I missed his penis.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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