I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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