they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
