Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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