I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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