Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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