you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish my penis had a tongue
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
