Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize