okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
