Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
