You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
