I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
