Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
