got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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