the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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