I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
where am i from again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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