i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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