Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
