did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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