He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't think brook has ever known best
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
