we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
