when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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