Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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