How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
