I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
